A funny thing happened on the way to the FAR

We get lots of questions from industry and government people on a truly wide variety of procurement and contracting issues. In case you need a good laugh, or are worried that you ask stupid questions, here are some of our favorites to give you a chuckle and a — perhaps sobering — idea of the federal market in which you do business. All of the below are actual questions:

From a client’s counsel: Can you send me a copy of the FAR so we can red-line it?

From a GSA Region 8 employee: Can you tell me how the Multiple Award Schedules program works?

From a training class attendee: That part where you said I can’t take my government customer to a steak dinner, that doesn’t apply to my manager, right?

From another class attendee: GSA doesn’t really want me to disclose all of my sales information, do they?

From a (former) client: What does the term “special agent” mean on the letterhead?

From a non-contract attorney: Just how big is the FAR?

From a government official who will remain anonymous: What does that person do in my organization?

From another anonymous official: Can you take me to play golf at Congressional?

From a small business employee: Why do we have to be registered in SAM?

From another small business: Can’t my Congressman require (name of agency) to buy from me?

From a former GSA Administrator: Do you mind if I bring a few props to my speech?

Larry Allen is the president of Allen Federal Business Partners and this column is part of his “Weekahead” newsletter. He is an expert on GSA schedules and federal acquisition.