Learn 2-word mantra, survive in Trumpland

Does the prospect of Donald Trump as your new boss scare you? Senior Correspondent Mike Causey says not to worry. He's got a two-word solution.

The person virtually all of the experts said couldn’t be nominated, then couldn’t win the November 2016 election, is eight days out from becoming our next president. Ooops!

The number of real and self-styled experts who predicted that Donald Trump would be the nominee and then the one with the most electoral votes is small enough to fit in a couple of telephone booths. If there are two left in our iPhone world. Fortunately for them, most of the pundits are very adaptable. Explaining why Dewey didn’t defeat Truman is in their genetic makeup. They, we, are nothing if not survivors.

As a result of some really bad calls, the League of Down But Not Out Pundits (LDBNOP) has shifted tactics. Something they are very good at. They have rebooted, pivoted and reinvented themselves. Now and possibly for the next four years, they have shifted from telling us what can’t possibly happen to what is very likely (and very bad) to happen to most of you and yours. As in us and ours!

The horror show predictions are coming fast and furious. Some of them may even turn out to be correct. There are many and they cover just about everything , including most people, groups and industries, one of them being the 2.7 million members of what some pundits say make up what’s left of a demoralized, nervous-in-the-civil-service cohort.

The next few weeks (maybe months) are going to be tough on lots of people who genuinely believe the end-is-nigh, or that they are simply having a very, very long nightmare. To keep your sanity during this time of change and transition, memorize two words that may bring tranquility and could permit you to get through the next 100 days without being hospitalized. Like most brilliant ideas, this one is simple. The two magic words:

OR and NOT. As in OR NOT

Every time you hear or read a horror story prediction coming out of Washington, or Wall Street or Hollywood and Vine, just add the words OR NOT. You will almost certainly sleep better and, when the dust has settled, find the horror-du-jour predictions didn’t come true. OR NOT.

When a pundit tells you this Congress is going to freeze federal pay, add the words OR NOT and continue with your job. And your life.

When you learn that all civil service job protections are going the way of the passenger pigeon (all dead) pay attention. But be sure you finish it off by adding OR NOT.

Politicians and people with a political agenda or ax to grind (Democrat or Republican) have been known to exaggerate to make their point. So the OR NOT disclaimer should also be added to statements of politicians of both parties.

There will definitely be a wall built sealing the U.S. off from Mexico. Which Mexico will pay for. OR NOT.

New federal job rules will make it much, much easier to fire federal workers during an extended probation or at any time in their career. It’s definite. OR NOT.

When you read a Washington-based columnist who says that feds here are paralyzed by fear, unable to do their jobs and walking around in a Trump-induced trance, just tack on that little qualifier OR NOT to get a better picture of reality, and the mental/emotional state of many tough civil servants who have been through much worse and lived to watch the Sunday playoff games or take their kids to the movies. If you are feeling that way, we’d love to hear from you and what your specific fears are, and what they are based on. Also, if you are a fed who is adopting a wait-and-see attitude, that would be interesting too. Either way, I’m at: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com.

My personal observation from my D.C. neighborhood office and talks with many feds is that few have been turned into zombies.

Although a year from now, your job, agency and career could be very different. Maybe gutted and in shambles. Your pay may be frozen, hiring may be a thing of the past and your job could be much less secure.

OR NOT.

Nearly Useless Factoid

By Michael O’Connell

The plot of the 1945 comedy Zombies on Broadway involves two press agents looking to hire a real-life zombie for the opening of a zombie-themed New York City nightclub.

Source: Wikipedia

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