Ever watch The Simpsons on TV? It’s a silly show with a very serious side. Guests have included The Rolling Stones, physicist Stephen Hawking, astronaut Neil Armstrong, Larry King, British PM Tony Blair, Bob Hope, Ringo Starr and James Earl Jones. Among others.

Homer Simpson is the star, if you can call it that. He’s the very flawed pater familias of a very, very strange family. Homer is nearly always doing something stupid. Like hitting himself in the head with a hammer. Or eating a live ostrich.

When Homer fouls up he makes this wonderful sound:

D’oh!

To hear it for yourself, click here

As he repeats the mistake, repeatedly, he makes the sound again, and again and again.

All of the above makes me wonder what sound politicians, and long-suffering IRS officials, make when the rediscover this fact of life: Hiring outside debt collectors to replace IRS agents may not be the way to go. Apparently it is not cost-effective nor soothing to the taxpayers.

During the Clinton years, Congress, which had put the IRS on lean rations, said the agency needed to be more aggressive collecting back taxes. It told the IRS to hire private debt collectors. After the IRS told them where the taxpayers were, gave them all the personal data and said how much they owed, and then trained them, the debt collectors were unleashed. And guaranteed a piece of whatever they collected.

Many career IRS employees cried foul. They said they could do the job better, at less cost (and without taking a cut) if Congress would fund the program. Fans of privatization said this was the pathetic bleating of bureaucrats protecting their turf.

Later, after telling the IRS and the debt collectors to play hardball with reluctant taxpayers, there was a taxpayer backlash. There were congressional hearings at which members of Congress (mostly but not exclusively Republicans) beat up on the IRS for playing hardball too hard. The private debt collector program was dropped.

Several years ago Congress revived the program, hiring three debt collection firms to go after billions in back taxes. D’Oh!

Guess what?

Last week there was another congressional hearing on the most recent effort. Critics said the IRS (as in y-o-u) will lose around $39 million on the privatization program. They said that in 2006 the private debt collectors brought in $49 million out of $1 billion in outstanding back taxes. Commissions to the private firms ranged up to 24 cents of every dollar collected.

Republican lawmakers argued that the figures were cooked to make privatization appear to be a flop. They say it would be a “tremendous step backward” to take private debt collectors out of the equation. Even so, or maybe because of that, 23 members of the Senate (22 Democrats, 1 Republican) are backing legislation to stop the private debt collectors and let IRS bring in the money.

Whether the program is a success or a flop, you gotta wonder why Congress keeps starting it, then stopping it. D’Oh!

One possible answer: even the most brilliant pol, like the most brilliant goldfish, has a very short attention span. This failing, combined with an agenda, or wish to toss business to a donor, could account for a tendancy to reprise old failures.

No matter what the current Congress decides, which will likely be not much, the next one is likely to give the debt collectors the boot. For awhile. D’Oh!

Nearly Useless Factoid

According to Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, in 17th century America, the average woman gave birth to 13 children. Yet another reason that television may have been the best invention, ever.

To reach me: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com

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