Mike Causey

Sex, Drugs, Rock & Roll!

The sex, drugs and rock and roll scandal in one federal agency is being welcomed by the public and the media. Senior Correspondent Mike Causey explains why.

Federal News Network Staff

September 12, 2008 4:00 am

3 min read

The on-going “scandal” within the Interior Department comes at a great time for various groups. Reporters (and readers, listeners and viewers too) are getting burnt out because of the longest presidential campaign in world history.

I put the word “scandal” in quotes because we don’t yet know whether this is tempest in a teapot or Teapot Dome. This could be one of the most serious breaches of trust in a long time. Or it could be an example of a lot of people doing some really stupid things over and over again. Most likely it will turn out to be a combination of both.

It is proving a welcome distraction to politicians. Some are stepping on their, uh, tongues as they backtrack or attack. Others, courting both the media and the swine vote, find it necessary to condemn or defend pigs wearing Revlon’s Caramel Glace’. Equally grateful for this new scandal are the Senator who says his only crime is having a wide stance, and the chairman of the House tax-writing committee who forgot to pay his taxes over a period of some years.

Fortunately for all concerned, those who have said or done stupid or criminal things and those who are paid to express outrage over such behavior, America’s favorite whipping boy has arrived. Bureaucrats have been caught with their finger in something.

The eye of the storm is the Minerals Management Service, a little-known but very important corner of the federal government. It is supposed to represent the government (and taxpayers) in dealings with big energy companies. MMS is in the interior of the Interior Department, a place considered to have some of the most dedicated civil servants in government.

Several former political appointees contacted by FederalNewsRadio said the MMS they knew never made the front page of the New York Times or The Washington Post in this manner. They said employees were constantly reminded not to take freebies like expensive tickets to sporting events or accept lavish entertainment from people they deal with or are supposed to regulate. Although it comes under the category of “things mother-or-father told you not to do”, some workers were allegedly in bed (literally) with oil company officials and doing drugs too.

The information about all of this apparently came, as it often does, based on a tip or a couple of tips from insiders.

We’ll see how this plays out. If, as we say in the biz, this story has “legs” or if it fades away.

Meantime some advice (an updated version of the don’t-stick-beans-up-your-nose warning) for people who work for the government, for local law enforcement types, for employees of the courts, certainly for politicians and also for media types:

Don’t do anything stupid!!!!

How’s Your TSP Balance?

Compared to what, right? According to the Federal Retirement Thrift Investment Board the average TSP account balance is worth just over $69,000 for workers under the FERS retirement plan, and just over $64,000 for investors under the older CSRS system. FERS investors in the TSP are eligible for a total match of up to 5 percent from the government.

The average account balance, as of August, for members of the uniformed services – Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, Coast Guard, PHS, etc. – was just over $9,400.

Nearly Useless Factoid

Most states have a state food. Oklahoma has a list: Barbequed pork, chicken fried steak, sausage, biscuits and gravy, fried okra, squash, grits, corn, black-eyed peas, cornbread, pecan pie, strawberries and watermelon (which mentalfloss reports they have declared the state vegetable).

To reach me: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com