(Editors Note: Senior Correspondent Mike Causey actually wrote this back- from-vacation column on June 21st which was actually before he left for vacation. We hope, but cannot guarantee, that the goals he set for himself — the phrase “will return as a Greek god” was used — will have been achieved. Instead of the puffy, boring soul who left us, we are ready to welcome a bronzed, rested, leaner and much smarter Mike back.)

Here’s what he wrote before leaving town:

Just coming off an extended vacation and it’s great to be back. Seriously.

Thanks to the various readers who took time out to write guest columns that appeared in this space. I thought they were different. And great. Fresh viewpoint and all that sort of thing. We will do it again.

Meantime, it is great to be back with an (almost) brand-new body. I’ve lost 25 pounds. My hair seems darker and thicker. I packed on muscle. Swam 50 laps each day. Hit the gym regularly. Am back running 10K races. My tan looks like something out of Hollywood. I am alcohol and gluten free. I’m so organic I itch. With delight.

While on vacation I finished the complete works of Shakespeare, did 12 chapters of my in-progress “GAN” (great American novel). I can run a 10K in about 58 minutes thanks to my rigorous training schedule.

People at the office, when they see the new, svelte me, will either weep with delight or of jealousy. Whatever.

Vacations are more than a time to recharge the old batteries. They are also a time to improve and, where necessary, reinvent oneself. Don’t let my success deter you in your quest for a better you. Instead let it inspire you.

Tomorrow: Return to reality.

NEARLY USELESS FACTOID

By Jack Moore

It would take 158,783,167 LEGOs to build a to-size replica of the White House, according to BuzzFeed. Use the “LEGO My House” feature to find out how many LEGOs it would take to trick out your home in the plastic bricks.

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