Many, many moons ago at Washington’s Union station, I stood — sweating heavily — with a couple hundred other soldiers, sailors, marines and Coast Guardsmen. Our assignment…

March to the Tomb of the Unknowns in Arlington National Cemetery for a special ceremony. We were told to look good—to show up rival services— and most importantly, not to faint. Drop dead, if you must, but DO NOT faint. Either while marching or while standing at parade rest. Locking your legs, we were warned, almost guaranteed you would pass out.

(Did I mention that they only wanted volunteers who were 6 feet or taller? Try that today!) Anyhow…

We made it to Arlington — did I mention it was very, very hot and muggy — with the other units. Rolen (Lee) Painter, a friend and comrade-in- arms, recalled that the guy who told us not to faint or else himself fainted! Passed out several times! He was an officer and a very old (to us) guy. Probably in his mid-30s! Rolen, who DID NOT faint, went on to a long career with the Labor Department (BLS) and is now happily retired in the Shenandoah Valley. But he helped me remember that day.

That Memorial Day was a long-time ago. I had just turned 18. Memories fade. One’s role on the stage of history often tends to get bigger than it really was. . It still gets hot and muggy on Memorial Day. Many years after the fact, the marching and the heat, I don’t think of it as a chore anymore. Actually it’s one of those events–where you complained without end at the time– -that you wouldn’t trade.

As I recall it, hot as it was, nobody in our unit fainted that day. Except the guy who told us nobody better faint. Otherwise, we marched well, and nobody locked their legs (a short-cut to fainting) while we stood at parade rest at Arlington.

It is not appropriate to wish somebody a happy Memorial Day. It is a somber day of reflection. And gratitude to those buried in American military cemeteries around the world.

So whatever you do today, don’t faint!

Salute!

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NEARLY USELESS FACTOID

By Dena Levitz

The breed of goats known as fainting goats, often featured on viral videos, don’t actually faint or lose consciousness when they fall down. Due to a congenital medical condition, the goat’s muscles tense up when the animal is startled and don’t immediately relax almost like a full-body charley horse.

Source: How Stuff Works

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