Avoiding (or adjusting to) the dog food diet

Unless your plan is to live off the land, you’ll probably need more money in retirement than you think, says Senior Correspondent Mike Causey.

For some people contemplating retirement, a serious concern is being forced on a dog (or cat) food diet. It has happened.

As a young reporter, I did stories about elderly people for whom cat food was a treat. There was one situation, which never made the paper because the editor found it too depressing, about a sweet little old lady who spent her days in Lafayette Park. That’s across Pennsylvania Avenue from the White House.

 She was tiny and looked kind and content. She brought crumbs and was always surrounded by hordes of pigeons. What   interested us (and the people who reported her)  was that she lured pigeons into a shopping bag, while facing the Executive Mansion, and then terminated them with extreme prejudice, if you get my drift. Then she’d call it a day and return home. Not your ideal retirement scenario or food source.
Dog food is great if you are a Rottweiler, Chocolate Lab or Heinz 57 All-American Mutt. Especially if you have a kind, affluent owner whose kids are either gone, or turned out to be a disappointment. Then you eat like a king/queen. For a canine.

There have been several cases, in the U.S. and the U.K., where dogs were left millions of dollars/pounds. Plus property and well-paid guardians to keep them happy.

For non-pampered people, retirement planning is a must.  Many financial planners say that federal workers (especially those under the old CSRS system) are in the best shape when they retire. A guaranteed federal annuity based on salary and service time. Indexed to inflation and available also as a survivor benefit.  FERS employees, who must invest in their Thrift Savings Plan, get a reduced lifetime federal annuity, Social Security and the TSP.

At one time, financial gurus said people needed anywhere from 60 percent to 80 percent of their pre-retirement income in retirement. Now most of those estimates have gone up. Despite the expenses you won’t have in retirement (including, maybe, lower taxes) going from a biweekly to a reduced monthly check can be a jolt.

The other day we got an email from Paul M., outlining his retirement plan. Which goes like this:

“I (am) was under CSRS but I think this would work for FERS also. I started at a grade 3 and it seemed I would reach that 30/55 goal in 2005 at a grade 9. My goal was to have an income as close to being equal to that earned by someone two grades lower (grade 7) at a step five. It wouldn’t have been great, but it covered all the necessary bills with a little left. I will admit I got lucky and five months before that 30/55 date, I got picked up for an 11/12/13 position (kept me working there another 8 1/2 years).

“Would you agree this is a reasonable way to estimate how much you would need to retire?”

In cases like this, my immediate response is I-don’t-know. So I punted and benefits expert Tammy Flanagan caught and ran with the ball. Here’s her very diplomatic response:

“It is certainly an interesting concept of financial planning, but I think an easier method is to be sure that your income will cover your outgo and you leave some (a lot) set aside for unexpected expenses!  Under FERS, it is more complicated because there are three different benefits to coordinate that have three different payment schedules and strategies to use when claiming them … it’s never as simple as we first assume!  To complicate matters, today, many people are not living within their means, so they can no longer retire on an income that is less than their current net income!”

Whatever your retirement plan, save, save, save. And put enough into the TSP to get that total 5 percent match. It will come in very handy when you need it most.

Nearly Useless Factoid:

One pound of ready-to-eat squab meat has 25 grams of saturated fat.

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