While I’m taking some holiday time off, we have a good group of guest columnists to fill in the blanks. Some are still on the job, some are retired. They come from different agencies and different places.

Today’s contributor is an IRS employee who’s retiring after 32 years. He writes:

I am retiring today after 32 years of working for the IRS (with a 3-month break for Desert Storm in 1991). All I can say is that door will not come close to hitting me in the ass as far as my last day is concerned despite the fact I am old and half crippled from my service to my country. Now I have lots of fun battling the VA’s maze of a bureaucracy for the past 22 years until I die, when they will try to cancel my burial benefits in the nearest landfill.

I am simply fed up with the stupidity of Congress under the current conservative “leadership” which has been making our lives a living hell for the past 5 years since the 2010 elections. That stupidity, when combined with the inane mentality of IRS “leadership” whose sole efforts are playing damage control against the political games that same idiotic Congress has been playing, makes me sick every time I turn on a real news outlet. What we need here at the IRS is a true leader who will emulate Adm. Hyman Rickover and actually fight back against the games and the dog and pony shows the Congress is playing so they (Congress) can score extra PAC contributions.

We have been getting bombarded with messages from our beloved leaders advising us we are getting screwed by Congress once again. Congress is oblivious to the fact that for every $1 they slash our operating budgets, we fail to collect $22 in return. The logic is simple enough to the point that you do not need to be a Vulcan to understand it. Give us more money and we can turn a massive profit for the government. We can do this while treating the public fairly and helping them to get back on track of doing the right thing. Personally, I refuse to treat anyone in the public like I have been treated with my 23-year- long war with the VA. Now that is one screwed up bureaucracy (the VA). If [Secretary Robert] McDonald really wants to reform the VA’s claim process, give him my name and number and I will show him just how bad the system is stacked against sick veterans. My documentation weights over 50 pounds and fills two bankers boxes.

So, in these desperate financial times in which we will be playing Oliver, groveling to Congress “Please sir, may I have more”, I would think certain budgets would come under closer review and scrutiny looking for individual line items which can be slashed. Today, everyone here in my office just got brand new laptop computers. Our old ones are about 3-years-old and some are breaking down. I can understand replacing those individuals whose computers are in hospice care, but why everyone? What is even more mystifying, is one large box has my name on it and there is another for a revenue officer who left for his freedom (i.e. retirement) two weeks ago. Is this happening all over the country? How was this possible when we were under travel restrictions with our budget being batted back and forth like a Chinese ping pong match? Where did this mystery allocation come from and more importantly, why didn’t someone in IT cross check personnel’s records so no one about to retire, or who has retired, will not be given a computer they can never use?

How much was wasted on surplus computers which are going to have to be shipped back to IT who will in turn ship them to a warehouse where they will sit awaiting a new hire to assign it to. Unfortunately, with the political winds blowing heavily to the right side of the political spectrum, I doubt the IRS will ever have any hiring authority again until after the 2020 elections at the earliest. By then, these will be obsolete relics and sold off as surplus for 5 cents on the dollar without having ever been turned on. You should have seen the nightmare I did back in the Navy Reserves when Subic Bay shut down and Guam got everything including urinals taken off of the walls. I assume those same urinals are still in a warehouse in Guam where they are as safe as the Ark of the Covenant from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Anyways, enough with my ranting and raving. … I do not know if you are running out of ideas to write about at the end of the year when a lot of offices are empty, but here is my 2 cents and letting the world know that despite Congress’ neutering and declawing the IRS, someone can still find a way to give them more ammo for their next phony inquiry (when they are running low on PAC contributions).

— Greg Mahaffey, Revenue Officer

NEARLY USELESS FACTOID:

Compiled by Michael O’Connell

Marketing man Edward “Steady Ed” Headrick is credited with successfully propelling the Frisbee into the world of sports. Working for the Wham-O toy company, Headrick redesigned the Pluto Platter flying disc to make it more controllable and easier to throw accurately. Headrick patented the Professional Model Frisbee and established The International Frisbee Association.

Upon his death, Headrick’s ashes, at his request, were molded into memorial Frisbees to be given to family and friends, and then sold to raise money for The Ed Headrick Memorial Disc Golf Museum at the PDGA International Disc Golf Center in Columbia County, Georgia. During the opening ceremony, Headrick’s wife Farina tossed one of the discs containing her husband’s ashes onto the roof of the center, fulfilling the adage “Old Frisbee players are like old Frisbee’s. … They don’t die, they just land up on the roof.”

Source: Professional Disc Golf Association

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