Friday in D.C. was so hot, according to my grandson, that he saw a dog chasing a cat and both of them were walking! (drum roll)…

But seriously, it is hot. Hot is not unusual for mid-July but it has really been hot this year. Following a very cool spring for many parts of the country. Most confusing.

The bottom line is that because of the extreme heat, Federal News Radio’s Fashion Board believes it is necessary to move up Rocky Horror Show at the Office Day from mid-August to, well, about now. If the heat continues, and people continue to wear less and less to the office, we will extend the time frame.

Each year, many offices, federal and private sector, reach a point where — thanks to the heat — people stop dressing like people. Men who shouldn’t wear short shorts to work do it. Fully grown women wear halters and tank tops made for much smaller persons. Spandex rules. It is TMI time across the land.

(Normally I dress like George Clooney in one of his better movies. Today I write this in khakis, a loose-flowing black shirt hanging outside and shoes but no socks. Several normally friendly women in the office reach for their cell phones — in one case a Hershey bar — to begin animated conversations with imaginary people. Another pretends she has narcolepsy and drops off to sleep as I approach. The thing is, I know what I look like — I just can’t help it. Maybe like you. Or an office mate.)

Bottom line is, even the most dapper among us is subject to heat wilt and commuter crumple. So help us out. Let us know what impact the early heat wave has had on the sartorial standards in your office or agency. Names aren’t necessary but full descriptions are welcome.

This could be a welcome break from furlough updates and warnings of possible future layoffs.

It could also make you feel better. You may think that you are working under extreme fashion circumstances. That it couldn’t get any worse than what you experience each day as you do your job, passing zombies who look like they dressed in front a pile of old clothes near a powerful fan. But it is probably worse in other places.

In the past, workers from Agriculture, HHS, Census, Social Security and the IRS have sent us some interesting reports.

So, time to break from the heat and your job-related worries.

Let us know about man’s inhumanity to man (clothes-wise) in your office. You can (and probably should) remain anonymous: Send them to me at mcausey@federalnewsradio.com.

I’m feeling smug, even dressed as I am, already! Bring on the horror stories.

NEARLY USELESS FACTOID

Compiled by Jack Moore

The phrase “as American as apple pie” obscures the true origins of the favorite American dessert. When colonists first arrived in the Americas, there weren’t even apple trees — just crab apples. According to Today I Found Out, “The Romans are thought to have introduced apples to England, and from there American colonists started spreading them throughout the New World.” Meanwhile, the Dutch were baking apple pies (complete with the familiar lattice-pastry top) for centuries before apple trees were even planted in North America.

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