So who really runs Washington? I mean REALLY. Not the cardboard talking heads we see on C-SPAN or the nightly news. But the folks that control the buttons. The people who probably know what goes on in Area 51 and who have seen the pilfered Sony e-mails about Angelina Jolie.

Well, it turns out that the people who run Washington (and by default the country and to some extent the whole wide world) have been unknown. Secret until now. Think you know who they are? Take this insiders’ test. See if you know who the real insiders — who make the Knights Templar look downright transparent — are. So is it:

• Group One: Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi, John Boehner and Janet Yellin. Or,
• Group Two: Dean Hunter, Brenda Roberts, Chris Strong and Caroline Laurin. Or,
• Group Three: The members of the worldwide Trilateral Commission who, if we told you who they were, we (or they) would have to kill you. Or themselves. Somebody would have to go, that’s for sure.

If you said Group One, you are on the right track. Up to a point.

If you said Group Three, you might want to get some professional help. Or buy some more beef jerky for your doomsday prepper kit.

If you said Group Two, bingo. You are a true insider! Well done!

Group Three includes are the people that, when the going gets tough, wet or slick, really run Washington. And by default, the world!

First, some identifiers: Group one consists of the Vice President, the Senate Majority Leader (soon to be the Senate Minority Leader), the Senate Minority Leader (soon to be the Senate Majority Leader), the Speaker of the House, the House Minority Leader and the chairwoman of the Federal Reserve Board. Important a lot of the time, except during bad weather events in D.C.. Then, they shelter in place like the rest of us.

The mysterious members of Group Two met the media and were revealed to the world for the first time yesterday. They are key elements of the team that decides when Washington is shut down after a snow or ice storm. Or during some other weather or man-made disaster.

Dean Hunter is director of Facilities, Security and Contracting at the Office of Personnel Management. Brenda Roberts is OPM’s deputy associate director for Pay and Leave. Chris Strong’s title is warning coordination meteorologist at the National Weather Service and Caroline Laurin is deputy chief spokeswoman for WMATA (the Washington Metropolitan something!). They provide advice and coordination to OPM Director Katherine Archuleta who (after consulting with many key transit, safety and political types) makes the close-or-stay-open call.

While many folks outside the Beltway howl with rage, or delight, when D.C. shuts down, it is a big — sometimes life or death — matter here.

The Group Two team met the public yesterday as part of a dismissal-and-closure livestream sponsored by the Office of Personnel Management. To get a handle on how the process works, checkout the archived video and Michael O’Connell’s story here.

NEARLY USELESS FACTOID:

By Michael O’Connell

You can tell how old a giraffe is by looking at its spots. The darker the spots, the older the giraffe.

Source: Do Something

OPM updates closure procedures; no excused absences for pre-approved paid leave
Federal employees who are on pre-approved paid leave during a government closure will no longer be given an excused absence, according to updated Washington, D.C., Area Dismissal and Closure Procedures released today by the Office of Personnel Management.

Thousands of veterans’ calls for help go to voicemail
As the winter months approach, homeless veterans seek help from shelters, veterans organizations and the Veterans Affairs Department, to keep off the streets and out of the cold. But last year, thousands of homeless and at-risk veterans who tried to contact the Veterans Health Administration’s National Call Center got only an answering machine.

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