As often happens when Washington speaks, the good news/bad news (in this case about the 2016 federal pay raise) is the same thing. Like:

Good News: The 1.3 percent increase proposed in President Barack Obama’s budget is, statistically, more than the 1 percent raises they got in 2014 and 2013. More, in situations like this, is always better.

Not So Good News: Before the 2013 and 2014 raises, white collar federal workers had gone without a pay hike for three long years. While many got longevity step increases, nobody got a regular January raise despite higher health premiums each and every year and tax increases in some states. And the raises are also smaller than the actual increase in the cost of living.

While federal pay was frozen, somebody forgot to tell the health insurance industry. Premiums for workers, retirees and the government (which pays the bulk of the total premium) continued to go up each year, every year. While the fed premium hikes were modest compared to the private sector, they were in the double-digit realm for most people. Even those who shopped around for less pricey insurance packages are paying more than ever, with less take-home income.

Given what’s happened — or not — over the past five years, many federal workers have less pay rent, mortgages, food and fuel bills now than they did then. Most of them are coping with 2015 premiums, prices and taxes with less spendable income than they did back in the day.

The only saving grace is that over the last few years many employees have received the semi-automatic longevity step increases. Those time-in-grade raises are worth about 3 percent. But not everybody, by a long shot, got the raises that come due every one, two or three years depending on an individual’s time in grade.

Federal and postal workers, whose monthly annuities are linked to inflation (not budgets and politics) have done slightly better. The January 2015 cost of living adjustment was worth 1.7 percent. It also went to retired military personnel and people who get Social Security benefits.

There is an alternate pay plan out there. But many think it is way, way out there. After reluctantly turning over control of the House to Republicans, 31 Democratic members of Congress proposed a 3.8 percent raise for feds next January. While it is a lovely gesture, the timing is a bit off.

A raise in the neighborhood of 3.8 percent might have had a slight chance when Democrats controlled the Senate. Slim, but a chance. Unfortunately, they waited until it was Mission Impossible time to make their feds-deserve-more gesture.

A retired federal lobbyist said the higher-pay-now-that-we’re-gone proposal reminded him the old three-guys-at-a-funeral joke: “Each one owed the deceased $1,000. So the first guy tosses an envelope with a thousand bucks on top of the coffin. So does the second guy. Finally, the third guy writes a check for $3,000, puts on the coffin and pockets the two envelopes with the cash.”

Working on Capitol Hill apparently makes one cynical!

NEARLY USELESS FACTOID

By Michael O’Connell

Eagle-eyed readers of yesterday’s NUF will have noted that it was the B-52’s and not the B-2’s that recorded the song “Rock Lobster.”

Tip of the NUF cap to Arlenee Maupin, Marc Beskin, Mark Walthew and “FERS_Fed” for keeping us honest!

In a related NUF, the band in question is now known as the B-52s — they dropped the apostrophe. According to a 2009 interview with singer Kate Pierson, the old name was grammatically incorrect and the punctuation mark seemed superfluous.

Source: Star Tribune

MORE FROM FEDERAL NEWS RADIO:

Five things every federal employee should know about the Obama budget
A 1.3 percent pay raise, reforms to the Senior Executive Service and increased emphasis on employee feedback are just some of the initiatives that would impact federal employees proposed in President Barack Obama’s 2016 budget.

DoD: No more sequestration, yes to pension reform and BRAC in budget request
In an effort to curb the damage caused by sequestration and restore funding at higher levels, the Obama Administration proposed a defense spending plan for fiscal year 2016 that goes beyond the limits of sequestration.

Budget breakdown: FY 2016 agency-by-agency funding levels
What does President Barack Obama’s proposed 2016 budget proposal have in store for your agency? Check out our agency-by-agency chart.

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