Early in my career (as a messenger for a newspaper) my boss invited his staff to a party. It was near the office, at his home, a row house in D.C.’s then rundown Dupont Circle area. He hinted it would be a real good idea if we came.

And brought dates.

And money.

Being messengers, we got the message!

We did. I think I was pulling down $57.50 a week then, so money was in short supply. So too were young women anxious to date beginning messengers. But one tried.

While young and broke none of us (except for a guy named Hurry Harry who was in fact the slowest guy on the team) were stupid. The boss says come to a party and bring a date, and money, you do.

The party turned out to be a jewelry party. Sarah Coventry is burned into my brain forever. My boss’ significant other was foreman at a print shop by day. By night, he sold jewelry. At command-performance parties.

Another boss, later on, sold plastic kitchenware, while another handled mutual funds. I bought some bowls but no stocks.

I was reminded of this early this week when the House Veterans Committee grilled various Veterans Affairs Department officials about various VA personnel practices. One of them raised eyebrows. It was about an office-related party in Philadelphia. One of the top bosses’ spouse was/is (?) a medium. Her specialty: Long-distance calls between the living and the dead! At a flat rate of $30 per séance. It didn’t say if she took credit cards.

I immediately went around our office asking people if they had had weird, close or unpleasant encounters with a boss in the past. One told about a tiny woman (“the fiercest person I have ever known”) who claimed to speak 19 languages. He, who was studying Russian at the time, didn’t dare challenge her. About that. Or anything else.

Michael (Nearly Useless Factoid) O’Connell, my wise-beyond- his-years editor, suggested that instead of asking people at the office, I ask you. Great idea. Have you got a boss story? Crazy, cruel, kind, kinky, whatever. Bring ’em on. We’d love to hear them and then pass them on. You can use a pen name if you like.

So return with us now to yesterday. And bring on the wild and wooly bosses. Please send them to me at: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com.

P.S. If anybody wants to buy some vintage Sarah Coventry jewelry, see me!

Nearly Useless Factoid by Michael O’Connell

The five tones in the musical signature from the movie “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” are: Re, Mi, Do, Do, So, with the second Do being an octave below the first.

(Source: Ars Nova Software)

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