Today’s guest columnist, Dixie Cansler, talks about what it’s like to be a tad unorthodox in a by-the-numbers federal operation. And she comes with a disclaimer:

DISCLAIMER:  “The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of DoD.”

Let me start by saying I’m not your typical person. I tend to run the unorthodox route in life.  I’m no better or worse than anyone, I’m just slightly off but I’m a slightly-off-southern-Daddy’s-girl, so it’s all good.  I’m 6-foot tall, think amazon, and I can bench press 180 pounds … comfortably.  I’m a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl and I’m just fine with that and if you’re not fine with that, well, your opinion of me is none of my business.

I’ve been told I’m blunt … to a fault.  Perhaps there was an aggressive gesture (fight) or two in my early years but as no convictions happened (and cellphones weren’t a thing yet (thank you Jesus!!!), I think we’re good. I can come across as an pushy little thing (I’m working on it!) that may or may not have 5 acres and a shovel, but I’m really just a big teddy bear (much like my Daddy).  I’ve also been told that I may, more often than not, say what other people wish they could say — even at work — for example, I may have more than once told the deputy HR director to “bite me”… again, unorthodox.  (Side note, thank you Brad for always understanding my sense of humor).

Moving on … with all that said, I’m a federal employee, I’m good at what I do and I absolutely love doing it and who I do it for, the DoD.  My agency is an amazing place to work with the mission to educate the children of our military families both here in the states and overseas.  As a military brat myself, this place is a great fit. I came to this agency Monday, Jan. 13, 1992, at 8:36 a.m., as a secretary and I’m now a Human Resources Spec (Classification/Compensation).  Momma and Daddy lived long enough to see me get my GS-13, something they were very happy with since because of the path I chose in life (rebellious little devil that I am), there was some thought that perhaps I would not find a self-sustaining job and would need to pack up the kids and come home.  Maybe it was that “group” I chose to join in my youth or the fact that I tended to date/marry/divorce people that they wouldn’t have chosen.  Did I mention that one Thanksgiving, my sister told my brother that they were going to use their inheritance to find the true origins of my birth, as I am so very different than either one of them (geniuses, both of them — putzes, but I love them dearly) … I digress.  Daddy always said I took the hard road.  Oh well, live and learn!

It’s taken me a long time to figure this out but life isn’t as serious as some would have you think.  It’s as fun as you want it to be or as dark as you let it be.  Mine was dark for a long time, depression tends to do that to a person, but I got help and I am blessed in ways I never thought possible.  My family and friends are what make every day living fun and exciting.  I have the three greatest children born to mankind — please don’t argue that point, it’s not nice to argue with a southern woman!  Some of the people here at work have become as close as family and I wouldn’t want to imagine my life without them.  There is a core group that I send jokes to every morning — just something to brighten their day and remind them how fun life is and how blessed we are and how much they truly do mean to me.  We share our experiences and help each other as needed — it’s what friends do after all J.  No topic is TMI, although in the beginning, I’m sure they wished there would be some off limit subjects but alas, it’s me after all — nothing is off limits and everything can be made fun of eventually!!  They’re used to it now — even look forward to it I dare say.  Inside joke to the girls (Dorcas, Norma Jean and Sylvia) and Charles— “consumer reviews at the store” and “chesticles”!!!!!

When I was asked to write a column, I thought, “What the heck can I offer anybody?” — that was the clean version by the way, just saying.  Then it hit me, I could share a few of my thoughts and views on life in the hope that if someone reading this is having a bad day — they can read it and smile.

• “It’s a job – not an adventure.” It’s a bill-paying job people, call it a career if you want but my career is my kids and my husband — this just pays the bills.  Let me be very clear on this topic my darlings, when you leave your job, someone WILL immediately pick up where you left off and move on. Yes, I’m quite sure you were wonderful at it … good for you, enjoy your retirement watch!  Seriously, if what the job thinks about you means more to you than what your family thinks, please go to the nearest wall and bang your head until the sense God gave you returns — that is all!
• “It’s going to be a great day … no matter what!”  Sometimes harder done than said (I know — oh trust me, I know) but try — it’ll be worth it.
• “In case no one’s told you today, your hair looks great, no — those pants don’t make your butt look big, and you’re awesome!!”
• “This is a ‘no-whining’ area of the office.”
• “The beatings will continue until morale improves” — I actually have this up on my cubicle wall and when our former agency second in command came down to speak to myself and my partner in crime (Sylvia), he read it, looked at us both and smiled saying, “I wish I could work down here, you all have fun.”
• “The secret to being happy is having a great sense of humor and a dirty mind” — I have both thus I am a very happy camper!
• From “Mommy Needs Vodka” on Facebook:  “When you are with your best friend, it doesn’t matter whose idea it was, as long as your alibis match.”  Duly noted!
• “Better living through chemistry.”  My chemistry is vodka.

So, in closing, what have we learned?  We’ve learned life is fun, life is a blessing and it’s going to be a great day … no matter what!

From my family to yours, wishing everyone a fantastic and fun-filled holiday season with everyone who makes you feel loved J.  To Mike Causey, Sir, thank you very much for all you do and I hope continue to do for a very long time!

Nearly Useless Factoid

By Michael O’Connell

The field of human resources first developed in 18th century Europe during the industrial revolution. It was inspired by an idea originated Robert Owen and Charles Babbage that the well-being of employees led to perfect work.

Source: Wikipedia

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