Our great country is called the United States of America, but really we are more like 50 nations plus the District of Columbia from whence this comes.
Some states – Texas, Montana, California, Alaska – are bigger than most European countries. Some states have a split personality: There is north Florida which is southern, and south Florida which is northern. Then there is Key West! There is Austin surrounded by Texas, and there is New Orleans and there is the rest of Louisiana.
But different is good, correct? We’ve learned from our diverse, wide-spread and well-traveled fed audience that wherever you live, it’s well known that the real whack jobs of the world are in the next state. In a column last week, reader Ron Dank passed on a Montana-based story that does not reflect well on the intelligence of folk from North Dakota.
Turns out there are lots of regional jokes in which the residents of the next-state-over are the butt of. For example:
“YES! People in Montana tell North Dakota jokes! I lived in Montana for 10 years, and there are lots of those North Dakota jokes around. People in North Dakota tell some of the same jokes about Montana, and some about Minnesota. People in Idaho tell Utah jokes, and some Montana and Oregon jokes. People in Arizona tell Nevada and New Mexico jokes. People in New Mexico tell Texas jokes. People in Oregon tell California jokes, too, and people in California doubt that any of these other people exist… unless their weather is worth talking about on the evening news.” Susan A. Rodman
” The first ethno/geographical joke I ever heard was when I was working on a ranch near Livingston, Mont.,” says Gary Cummins. “It goes like this: In North Dakota schools, the 3Rs are reading, writing and the road to Billings. That was followed by the story of a North Dakota U student returning to his dorm room with a pig under his arm. When his roommate asked ‘where did you get that?’ the pig answered, ‘I won him in a raffle!'”
“I’m from Montana and yes, Montanans tell just awful jokes about North Dakota. Here’s a tame one: Why can’t you swat a fly in North Dakota? Because it’s the state bird.” L at the State Department.
“This is not politically correct so don’t give me credit,” says a Forest Service employee. “The column prompted me to tell you that Oregonians tell California jokes such as: Do you know what California and granola have in common? Just a bunch of nuts and flakes.”
“Yes, Montanans tell North Dakota jokes. I have a real-true-live-bought-in-a-bookstore book of them. North Dakotans tell Norwegian jokes. The thing is: There’s absolutely no one Minnesotans can tell jokes about.” V.W.
Linda of the IRS asks: Did you know the Transportation Department was putting little black boxes in cars, similar to airplanes, to see if they could determine the cause of crashes? In 49 out of 50 states the drivers last words were “Oh S..t!” In Montana it was “Here, hold my beer and watch this!”
However, that joke was out dated when Montana actually got an open container law in 2006.”
“Who are the fall guys for folks from North Dakota? Rest assured it is not South Dakota, the warmer Dakota! The other Dakota (North) considered not too long about about dropping the “North” from their name. Such pride!! Actually, the butt of all jokes ends in North Dakota, where the only place they can pick on is Canada, eh!! Mike, Houston, TX (Transplanted South Dakotan!)
Nearly Useless Factoid
According to their website, if all the regular size Crayola crayons made in one year were laid end to end on the Equator, they would circle the Earth six times. And yes, Crayola also mentions that, being on the Equator, the crayons would probably melt.
