Club Fed: DC’s dirty (but sweet) summer secret

If you are reading this from home or work pat yourself on the back. It’s the end of August. And we did it again.

What we did was nothing, which is often better than something.

What we did (either out of acquired wisdom or accumulated credit card debt) was we stayed home. Again.  Spent most of this hot, muggy month working, or sheltering in place at home. The community pool was our big night out.

Why not leave town to be with the beautiful people?

Well, we  agreed to keep the home fires burning while (and more often-than-not  because) our national leaders are gone.  So are their tens of thousands of camp followers: Lobbyists, lawyers and national journalists and other members of the chattering class. Those who aren’t covering the Iowa political scene have, as per usual, gone somewhere else.  Where they think it is nicer.  That is our dirty-but-sweet-little secret.

They are there and we are here and enjoy it while you (we) can.

For D.C.-based VIPs ( both real and self-anointed) the place to be this month is Martha’s Vineyard, The Hamptons or the Cape, as in Cod. Maybe a retreat in black-fly-infested Maine. Even Rehoboth Beach. Just not here.

There are also underground Club Feds in other places with high-concentrations of government workers.  Places like Huntsville, Ogden,  Cape Canaveral, Boston, Seattle, Tidewater Virginia or Alamogordo, where many of the big bosses also vacation in August going to more elite retreats.  For many of us in the bleacher seats, it’s a treat to have them gone. As in someplace other than here.

In the D.C. area, traffic — which is always awful — is typically much lighter in August.  Snooty local  restaurants, often jam-packed because of our high percentage of affluent folk, welcome (but only in August) we left-behinds.

Eleven months of the year commuting by car here, even for a short distance, means you stand a good chance of receiving the Order Of The 1-Finger Salute salute from an angry, hurried and harried fellow road warrior. Or of being honked at for doing something offensive, like stopping at a cross walk for a little old man with an air bottle attached to his walker.  The nerve of some people!

These last few weeks have been paradise (provided the A.C. works) for many of us stay-at-homes.  Mostly we don’t envy the folks dining at the Lookout or the Black Dog Taverns on the Vineyard, or checking who’s at the next table at 18 Bay  or the 1770 House in the Hamptons or the Stone Creek Inn in East Quogue. If you don’t know that elite area, it is just east of West  Quogue, I’m guessing.

The fact that our leaders and often their staffs and/or household help go with them, to better serve them, leaves more room for us.  We can park with impunity (almost) almost anywhere. We can eat at Cracker Barrel, the Waffle House or The Barnside Diner, without reservations.

So enjoy it while you can. It’s a long time until August 2016.

Nearly Useless Factoid:

By Michael O’Connell

The adult female bed bug lays about five eggs a day, which hatch in four to 12 days.

Source: CDC

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