Sitting Pretty

Thanks to a brilliant back-in-the-day career-move you, and most feds, are in good to excellent shape compared to many private sector types whose companies are folding or whose pension plans and health coverage are in the tank. The same is true for federal retirees who have lifetime, indexed to inflation, annuities and guaranteed health coverage for life.

If you are limber enough, pat yourself on the back. Consider this:

That brother-in-law who, over the years tormented you for being a clock-watching bureaucrat may be shoveling your driveway this winter. Or asking if he and the family can crash in your basement for a couple of years.

The vast majority of federal jobs, which are important in good times, become very, very important in bad times whether it is recession, depression or major threats to health and national security.

There isn’t enough space here to list the companies that have folded, slashed their staff or, like Chrysler, have decided to furlough employees for a month. At least.

Even state governments aren’t immune from hard times. California is considering drastic measures including giving state workers IOUs in lieu of their regular paychecks. The state of Maryland is furloughing most employees for (at least) two days.

Happy holidays!

The Obama campaign promised to root out waste, fraud and corruption in government, and to trim the federal payroll wherever possible. But so did the McCain campaign. And the Stevenson, Eisenhower, Nixon, McGovern, Carter, Reagan, Clinton and Bush campaigns before them. And they meant it, more or less, at the time.

But once assuming power, and getting a whiff of reality, most changed their tone. And realized that the pointy-headed bureaucrats they ran against for being the the reason behind the “mess in Washington” really aren’t the problem. In many cases they are the solution if they can work around sometimes inept, sometimes crooked, sometimes agenda-driven, the political appointees who come in (usually for about 18 months before they implode or find better jobs) don’t mess up things too badly.

Members of Congress who are now railing about the mortgage crisis and the financial meltdown forget (and hope we will too) that many of them forced programs that led to many of the problems.

Next step: Fix it!

Meantime, next time a nonfederal neighbor puts you down for living inside the civil service bubble, be kind! Try to forget the slurs you endured for deciding to go with, and stick with, Uncle Sam. It’s the right thing to do. Besides, just think…

You may have rejected a better-paying, higher-risk private sector job. Instead you selected a company – the U.S. Government – with a solid business plan: Print the money, distribute the money and collect the money! Now that’s a plan!

So who’s the dummy?

Next spring, when your house needs painting or your driveway needs to be repaved, you’ll want your taunting neighbor, in-law or friend to be in a good mood. He’ll be grateful for the work and do a nice job.

Nearly Useless Factoid

Are you having a running argument with your computer’s spell check feature? Is it insisting (wrongly) on replacing a word you know is right? There’s a phrase for that. It’s called “The Cupertino Effect“, named for Microsoft Word 97’s habit of changing “co-operation” (a common British spelling) to “Cupertino.” This has resulted in such gaffes as a UN report dated January 2005 which argues for “improving the efficiency of international Cupertino.”

To reach me: mcausey@federalnewsradio.com

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